blaming your parents for your unattractive genetics
WHEN SOMEBODY TELLS YOU THAT YOU AND THE PERSON YOU LIKE WOULD BE CUTE TOGETHER
WEARING A NEW PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS FOR THE FIRST TIME
I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!
when the annoying asshole in class is kicked out
Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”